The ten poshcrafting commandments

[Metal mug]

1. Thou shall never be without a cappuccino maker.

2. Thy tent should be no less than 10ft x 15ft

3. If available you should always use a caravan or motorhome instead of a tent.

4. Fish and chips must always be delivered

5. If you need the loo pop home quickly then come back

6. When arranging your tents interior always obey the laws of Fung shui

7. Champange flutes should be made of titanium and cost no less than £400.99

8. Why walk when you can take your golf buggy, it's eco friendly.

9. Make sure your butler only uses finest olive oil when frying the Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall bacon.

10. Thou shall only light fires in the Aga.

Hope you like them, if you have any more commandments of your own put them down. Or get your butler to type them down for you. :)

[Martin]

Think I've got most of them covered, the rest I'm working on. :D

Martin

[jbrown14]

I can't play the champagne flute. I prefer the penny whistle. :D Mine are brass and tin with either plastic or wooden mouthpieces. Don't think they make them in titanium...

[bigzee]

Nice one!
Here's something I've noticed when going on commercial sites with the family. How come the big pricey sites that are obviously oriented towards camper vans and "tupperware tents" have all the multiple facilities like showers,pot wash stations,and flourescent-lit toilets with banks of gleaming hand basins and hair-dryers? But the tent only sites usually have a couple of stand pipes and one or two gloomy dickensian bogs. Surely its the tenters that want the facilities, as the caravanners would have all mod-cons on board. Or are they worried about depreciating their large investments?

[Martin]

We've owned our caravan for about 4 years and in that time we've never used the caravan shower, preferring to use the on site showers. The problem with caravan showers is that you've got to clean and dry them once you've finished and they are bound to promote damp which is the killer of any caravan.

Not only that, but we've only done a 'number two' in it a very few times, again preferring to use the site loos. The obvious reason for this is that if you put it in, you've got to get it out, and that's not a pleasant operation. :(

There are hardcore caravaners who use their toilets and showers for what they are intended but I think you're right that there aren't many.

Martin

[bigzee]

We've owned our caravan for about 4 years and in that time we've never used the caravan shower, preferring to use the on site showers. The problem with caravan showers is that you've got to clean and dry them once you've finished and they are bound to promote damp which is the killer of any caravan.

Not only that, but we've only done a 'number two' in it a very few times, again preferring to use the site loos. The obvious reason for this is that if you put it in, you've got to get it out, and that's not a pleasant operation. :(

There are hardcore caravaners who use their toilets and showers for what they are intended but I think you're right that there aren't many.

Martin
So here's an idea: why not make a range of caravans that are essentially a bedroom/living room only? Imagine the extra elbow room created by not having that 25% ish of total space occupied by shower/toilet.There might be room to move around without injury then!

[Martin]

Why not indeed? Realisticaly, the space taken is not even 10% of the total floor space, it is a place to take a pee first thing in the morning and in the middle of the night, and doubles as the wash room for hand and face washing. The one good thing about caravans is the ingenious use of every square inch of space.

I believe that some of the newer models have an 'end bathroom', which does seem an extravagant use of space, but our 1998 model is very modest and is also up for sale as I'm getting too old for the annual setting up row with the wife. ;)

Martin

[Metal mug]

I believe that some of the newer models have an 'end bathroom', which does seem an extravagant use of space, but our 1998 model is very modest and is also up for sale as I'm getting too old for the annual setting up row with the wife. ;)

Martin Are you selling it on the forum Martin? If so what's the postage?

[Martin]

Oh that's easy, the caravan is free, but the postage is £3,500. ;)

Martin

[jus_young]

Oh that's easy, the caravan is free, but the postage is £3,500. ;)

Martin

Ideal for anyone that wants to collect it then!

[Metal mug]

Oh that's easy, the caravan is free, but the postage is £3,500. ;)

Martin I suppose caravan sized jiffy bags are quite expensive.

[luresalive]

11. when posting on a bushcraft forum try to take the thread off track as soon as possible.:D

[Adam Savage]

11. when posting on a bushcraft forum try to take the thread off track as soon as possible.:D

That's not just poshcrafters that do that, ex squadies are the masters in that area ;)

[Silverback]

That's not just poshcrafters that do that, ex squadies are the masters in that area ;)

There was this one time in the Squadron bar.....pull up a sandbag you'll like this......these 2 mec's from a REME LAD are taking a stollie for repair when.........;););)

[Metal mug]

it is a place to take a pee first thing in the morning and in the middle of the night, and doubles as the wash room for hand and face washing.

Martin That doesn't sound very hygienic. ;)












(I should work for the tabloids :D )

[Adam Savage]

Lol

[happybonzo]

We've owned our caravan for about 4 years and in that time we've never used the caravan shower, preferring to use the on site showers.
The problem with caravan showers is that you've got to clean and dry them once you've finished and they are bound to promote damp which is the killer of any caravan.

I know quite a few Travellers and they never use the on-board facilities in their Caravans

Not only that, but we've only done a 'number two' in it a very few times, again preferring to use the site loos. The obvious reason for this is that if you put it in, you've got to get it out, and that's not a pleasant operation. :(

The French have their system of Aires de Service and these are geared up for Motorhomes. You can drop Grey water, Black water and also refill the on-board water tank(s). Some Aires are known as Aires Stationment and those are the ones where you can stop over-night-safety in numbers but I usually wild camp EG on our Motorhome we can carry 200L of fresh water and 230L of grey water. We also have a bulk black water tank that can hold some 45L of grimness; emptying that can be hilarious. I have seen some Boxhead catch the lot on his van when the solenoid valve stuck

There are hardcore Caravanners who use their toilets and showers for what they are intended but I think you're right that there aren't many.

This seems to be mainly a UK thing according to a couple of dealers that I know quite well

Martin

words to make the post fit

[Metal mug]

Has Martin sold his caravan yet? :confused2:

[Martin]

Has Martin sold his caravan yet? :confused2:

Yup, I do all my poshcrafting in the comfort of a hotel these days. :)

Martin

[Metal mug]

Yup, I do all my poshcrafting in the comfort of a hotel these days. :)

Martin Is that what the ten tors walk will be like? :)

[Adam Savage]

Is that what the ten tors walk will be like? :)

What Martin hasn't told you, is he will be supervising the walk from around 200 foot above, inside his private chopper..;)

[Martin]

Actually, I was lucky enough to fly around the Ten Tors course in a Sea King helicopter this year. Was pretty fantastic to zoom around the tors and valleys of Dartmoor.

The rest of the trip will be pretty mundane in comparison. :(

Martin

[Adam Savage]

There isn't much that comes close to a chopper ride, nearest I found was a roller coaster. Then again it was army pilots, so maybe they always fly like that lol.

[Metal mug]

Actually, I was lucky enough to fly around the Ten Tors course in a Sea King helicopter this year. Was pretty fantastic to zoom around the tors and valleys of Dartmoor.



Martin Did you get takeaway?

[Martin]

No, no takeaway but these were Navy pilots so slightly more insane than others apparently. By all accounts the usual rules don't apply when flying over the sea. ;)

Martin

[Metal mug]

No, no takeaway but these were Navy pilots so slightly more insane than others apparently. By all accounts the usual rules don't apply when flying over the sea. ;)

MartinHow many pylons did you hit? :D

[twosmokeforever]

the gas fridge secures it for me used with my cadaic safari stove, supported by 12v led lighting. good times

you could forget that its a tent as its big enough to be a barn

[OakAshandThorn]

Well, a stove top espresso maker is always great, or at least a French press. :)


I can't play the champagne flute. I prefer the penny whistle. :D Mine are brass and tin with either plastic or wooden mouthpieces. Don't think they make them in titanium...
I play the Pan-flute, but I love how feisty the penny whistle sounds - thinking about buying one myself :D.