End of the world 2012!

[Metal mug]

Well they made a film about it so it must be true.;) Anyway if the the world did end next year how do you think it would happen? I like the idea of an evil genius trying to become king of the world but then he (or she) would accidentally lean on the button that activates the doomsday device. Which would be........killer robots, which would kill the genius. Anyway the robots would be angered by people's love for portable electronic gadgets and then realise our weakness. Anyway the robots would then take over apple corp and come up with the latest electronic book-phone-i pod-thingy. Then they would start advertising the gadget (let's call it the i-think) in a series of pretentious adverts, with lots of smiley annoying people dancing around saying stuff like. " i-think therefore I am." Anyway in the end most people buy them in the end and nothing happens for a while. But, when apple corp finally sell the billionth i-think, the robots activate them. You see the I-thinks were little robot minions in disguise as techno rubbish. Anyway they would then kill their human masters and take over the world, but then they'd get depressed and start making techno rubbish again. And then the whole circle would begin again.

And that's my apocalypse 2012. And that was also a good way to kill half an hour.:)

So how do you think the world would end?

[comanighttrain]

Well the russians are still constructing nuclear bunkers designed to survive direct hits... about 200 of them.... gonna have to assume they have some future strategy based around extended nuclear war.

Other obvious one is getting hit by a large space object which, if the surface blast doesn't kill you then being knocked out of orbit would

[resnikov]

Mass sucide from having to watch cr@p tv shows like Britains got talent and X-Factor

[Metal mug]

Mass sucide from having to watch cr@p tv shows like Britains got talent and X-FactorYes, that sounds the most plausible.:)

[Realbark]

Dalek invasion or Magnetic Shift (due soon)

[jus_young]

Not going to have to worry about this one either. Even if the world was about to end, it won't effect Ilfracombe because nobody thinks it exists any way!

[FrenchBen]

Loved your scenario metal mug! :happy-clapping:

Well I suppose that when talking about the end of the world, we're in fact talking about the end of humanity... (or say the end of humans' rule over the world, well the world as we know it ;))

So here's my D-Day scenario : on March 31st, saturday morning, between 9 and 9:05 am, a Wyoming marmot looks up the sky, and sees kind of a giant saucer penetrate the atmosphere in a violently glowing light. Obviously uncontrolled, and on its way to the crash of the year, the UFO - which is about half the size of the City of London - gets bigger and bigger. You all know marmots : they're very timid animals. Rebecca - that's her name - flees in her hole to save her skin... Alas! I assume you've heard about Yellowstone's supervolcano... Well it's just underneath Becky's hole in the ground. The UFO crashes, thus causing the volcano to erupt. The blowup is so huge that pieces of the space ship are thrown miles away in a canadian nuclear plant. Just as winter was about to come to an end, nuclear winter takes its place.
What you have to remember is that the flying saucer crashed out of control. There was a good reason to it. Extraterrestrials who were driving it had all passed out from a fatal disease from outer space. Other pieces of the spaceship flew away to Los Angeles where they landed without causing damage. They became the attraction of the morning for tourists who didn't know they were infected. As they learnt about the morning Yellowstone disaster, they flew back home as fast as possible. Within twelve hours, the incurable disease they carried with them contaminated most of the earth's population. Interesting point is the disease only hit primates. Gorillas, chimps and bonobos all disappeared... That's the sad end of the story... But on the other hand, man was gone too, and life on Earth could continue happily and successfully (once the sun had reappeared of course...)

Don't be mad at me : I'm not (blindly) anti-human... ;) Just a story... Hope you liked it

Ben.

[Metal mug]

FrenchBen has a good point, when we say the end of the world we usually mean the end of mankind. We are terribly egocentric. I loved your story FB , it needs more killer robots though ;). It also gives me an idea for a thread, "Don't you hate humans?" I know it's a bit two-faced but really it's a place to vent your rage at everyone. :)

[happybonzo]

Not going to have to worry about this one either. Even if the world was about to end, it won't effect Ilfracombe because nobody thinks it exists any way!

Except in the dark hours when the place is populated by the Undead :)

[jus_young]

Except in the dark hours when the place is populated by the Undead :)

You know the town so well. I usually board up all the windows, switch off the lights and sit up all night with a shotgun waiting for them to come and get me. My tactics obviously work because none of them have had the guts to try it yet!

[beechnut mick]

Right id better propose to the girlfriend if its all going to end in 2012,i'l tell her the wedding will be set for 2013.

[Metal mug]

Another end of the world scenario I would like would envolve the oylimpics 2012. Maybe out of British pride and vanity Boris Johnson (or whomever wins the mayoral election next year) decides that we must make the opening show 10X better than Beijing. Now the Russians and Americans have recently been decommissioning a lot of their surplus nukes. This gives the mayor an idea. (You can probably finish this story yourself now :)) Anyway on the opening night BOOM! The world's finest athletes burn to a crisp. The trouble is that the goverment had invested all their savings on a ladbrokes slip that bet Britain would win the oylimpics. Anyway British buisness crashes and causes a double dip worldwide recession that no-one recovers from. And At the end of the year the last of humanity fights to the the death over a glass of water and a packet of half-eaten monster munch. Then the world blows up for some reason. :D

[JonnyP]

I think the Wombles will rise again from Wimbledon Common..
And they shall sayeth unto the people, Behold, we art the Wombles and we come in peace.
And we shall see that they art good with tidyness, and we shall say one to the other Yes they art good.. See how they look after the World and how they recycle.
And we shall be taken in with much murmuring and gnashing of teeth.
But The Greatest of them be Great Uncle Bulgaria, and he shall sayeth unto his sidekick Tomsk, Look how these fools are taken in by us.. Let us release upon them the demons.
Tomsk saw that it was a good idea, so he released the demons that were the Magic roundabout.
And a giant Dougal went hither and tither destroying the peoples..

I know this to be true because it has been prophesied..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKcApI6uiSY

[Metal mug]

I know this to be true because it has been prophesied..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKcApI6uiSY


So many puppets :) Good old goodies.

[fish]

what about the huge asteroid thats possibly going to just miss us in 2012? the americans have just scrapped the project to try and deflect it ,so i guess that means that either it wont hit the usa or it will miss all together.

[Metal mug]

what about the huge asteroid thats possibly going to just miss us in 2012? the americans have just scrapped the project to try and deflect it ,so i guess that means that either it wont hit the usa or it will miss all together.

It's a conspiracy! The americans really live on the moon now, and the US is populated by androids. It must be true, I read it on the internet. :)

[Metal mug]

I think though there's a bright side to the apocaylpse. Sure you'll die, but so will everyone you hate as well :D See there's always a silver lining.

[Whiskey87]

I don't really believe in the apocalypse. The idea that some drum-beating bush monkeys foretold the end of the world just seems a bit silly to me.

[klause]

I agree Whiskey - unfortunately i do believe that if we suffered some sort of natural disaster or terrorist attack here in the UK we would be up 'sh!t creek bout paddle'.
I mean you only have to look what happened to us when it snowed - you couldn't get a loaf of bread or a pint of milk. If something serious happened there would be bedlam !

[Aaron Rushton]

i like the idea of zombies. Some new hybrid mutant virus develops which trunes humans into super agressive fleash eating animals. it would be a pretty slow way to the end of humanity, but if there were survivors it would certainly cull out the stupid.

[happybonzo]

I see that you have been to Ilfracombe after dark then :)

[Whiskey87]

i like the idea of zombies. Some new hybrid mutant virus develops which trunes humans into super agressive fleash eating animals. it would be a pretty slow way to the end of humanity, but if there were survivors it would certainly cull out the stupid.

The stupid, and those unfortunate enough to live in/near major population centres (which just so happens to be where intelligent people tend to congregate). Such is the case with any major disaster, cities become black holes.

[Metal mug]

Awwww, are we dead yet? :mad2:

[dubman]

they are building 5000 more bunkers to be ready by the end of 2012??

[dubman]

whats actually gonna happen is this...the dollar colapse...ww3...a celestrial body that is and will disrupt weather, earthquakes,volcanoes,active and none active will all become active and finally the magnetic north pole will shift causing floods like youve never seen.and all this is starting to happen right now...do ur research ppl and get ur backpacks ready..peace

[Metal mug]

whats actually gonna happen is this...the dollar colapse...ww3...a celestrial body that is and will disrupt weather, earthquakes,volcanoes,active and none active will all become active and finally the magnetic north pole will shift causing floods like youve never seen.and all this is starting to happen right now...do ur research ppl and get ur backpacks ready..peaceWill that effect the olympics? :confused:

[Martin]

Will that effect the olympics? :confused:

Phew!! Thank goodness I never got any tickets then. :)

Martin

[Metal mug]

Phew!! Thank goodness I never got any tickets then. :)

Martin Will there be Cornish wrestling?

[jus_young]

Will there be Cornish wrestling?

Apparently its wrasslin' :tongue:

[Metal mug]

Apparently its wrasslin' :tongue:Well I did type wrasslin' but a Cornish man then came in and declared. "Ye can't type that yer not Cornish!" at which point he deleted my post then smashed me over the head with a cider keg. When I came to I rewrote the post, and spelt it wrestling................:confused2:.............. .....Well actually i'm not sure what happened I woke up and my head hurt and there was an empty cider keg next to me. :D

[Martin]

Jack... Jack....

Time for your tablets again mate. Let me undo the buckles on your nice jacket. :)

Martin

[Metal mug]

Jack... Jack....

Time for your tablets again mate. Let me undo the buckles on your nice jacket. :)

MartinHey wait a minute, you're the fella that kegged me over the head. :D

[Metal mug]

Well looking at the stock markets today makes me think that we might have to start bartering rather than use this outdated thing called "money." :D

[Martin]

Well looking at the stock markets today makes me think that we might have to start bartering rather than use this outdated thing called "money." :D

Good idea Jack. You give me all your outdated old money and I'll give you something that you can barter with.

Hope this helps

Martin

[Metal mug]

Good idea Jack. You give me all your outdated old money and I'll give you something that you can barter with.

Hope this helps

MartinWell I would Martin but i'm fresh out i'm afraid. :)

[Martin]

Well I would Martin but i'm fresh out i'm afraid. :)

Ha ha!! Looks like you're ahead of your time then Jack. ;)

Martin

[Metal mug]

Hooray 2012!..............Am I dead yet?

[swkieran]

nooo youre alive and kickin it's 2012 m8,did you see our epic firework display ,gooooo london gooo,england,goooo britain lol.

[cuppa joe]

zombie squad...http://zombiehunters.org/forum/index.php

[luresalive]

zombie squad...http://zombiehunters.org/forum/index.php

Cool, wonder which one of us will be the first one to get one with a figure 4 !!!

[wizardbiz]

The stupid, and those unfortunate enough to live in/near major population centres (which just so happens to be where intelligent people tend to congregate). Such is the case with any major disaster, cities become black holes.

everyone thinks of survival situations in forest/mountain & desert, i spend hours each week thinking about urban survival situations ie no power, shops, transport network ect. could understand it if i lived in london or another city, but i live in the country.

[cuppa joe]

Cool, wonder which one of us will be the first one to get one with a figure 4 !!! there are some great articles on home made cooking gear and tents ...all sorts of useful stuff....but Im not into the actual zombie stuff lol .

[LandRoverMatt]

ginsters pasties may take over !

[Silverback]

everyone thinks of survival situations in forest/mountain & desert, i spend hours each week thinking about urban survival situations ie no power, shops, transport network ect. could understand it if i lived in london or another city, but i live in the country.

I'm sure the all those motorists & residents in and around South and North Anston in South Yorkshire had never considered what to do when they found themselves stranded for 72 hours in the snow back in Dec 2010. Luckily some residents had the wherewithall to open a relief centre using donated foodstuffs and bedding in the first 24 hours as the first emergency services didnt arrive until then.

Lorry drivers were ok sleeping in their cabs as they were prepared for nights out but many car drivers ended up hypothermic as they ran out of fuel.

The village shops ran out of milk, tea, bread et al and anything that needed to be brought in or taken out had to be done on foot or by 4 x 4, including the sick and injured. Home care staff and medical support could not reach the population without the use of suitably equipped 4 x 4 's hence the calling in of Mountain Rescue - in fact the first emergency service on scene was mountain rescue.

I wonder how long the people of Boscastle were without basic services after the flooding. I know people in Sheffield and Doncaster and Rotherham went without basics for at least 48 hours after the flooding in 2007.

The most powerful & serious threat to our continued wellbeing is mother nature herself. She has a nasty habit of letting us know just how insignificant we are

[Martin]

ginsters pasties may take over !

Oh God!! Do you think that might really happen?? What can we do to avoid this catastrophe??!!!

Martin

[Metal mug]

Oh God!! Do you think that might really happen?? What can we do to avoid this catastrophe??!!!

MartinBuy Devon pasties? :D

[Ben Casey]

Pasties I prefer the end of the world or Pies LOL Maybe it would not be the end but the start of a new world :D

[Roadkillphil]

Buy Devon pasties? :D

Swearing is not permitted on this forum Jack.... devon pasties indeed!!!!!

[LandRoverMatt]

what about good old Cornish pasties made from grandmas :D

[Silverback]

what about good old Cornish pasties made from grandmas :D

Should cure the cost increases in care of the elderly

[Metal mug]

Swearing is not permitted on this forum Jack.... devon pasties indeed!!!!!Sorry. :ashamed: :D


what about good old Cornish pasties made from grandmas :D


Should cure the cost increases in care of the elderlyNext time little old granny complains about the cold wrap her in pastry and set the oven to 200c. :evilgrin:

[Juanodaxis]

Why didn't I noticed this thread before? End of the world? End of human existence? I'm not really bothered, my missus say I'm an animal, so I'm not human, and my mates recon I'm an alien, well, I'm a foreigner living in the UK, so apparently I'm an alien, all I'll have to do is go home. Result! I just hope I can get in time for last orders at the local. Bang tidy!!T^

[andy202wr]

Its here. Tarmack melting last week, ice on top of my pond this morning, whats going on ?

[HillBill]

Its here. Tarmack melting last week, ice on top of my pond this morning, whats going on ?

Its solar maxim this year, the sun is kicking out flares periodically, the heat of those flares warms the place up, then the flares die back leaving the weather a more normal temp. Its the same reason we have seen the northern lights in yorkshire 3 times this year so far. Normal cycle, no need to worry.

Though if the flares keep getting stronger, and there are fears that they will, then there is a real danger of it knocking out the power grid. Possibly on a irreparable basis. T^

[andy202wr]

Thats it then, we are well and truly stuffed.

[KaiTheIronHound]

As far as i am aware, all that solar flare stuff has been overturned by peoples observations of other stars... They have yet to see a solar flare on that scale anywhere, or so my mates from the astrophysics department at uni tell me. Could be wrong though!

[HillBill]

One question which immediately springs to mind is this.

If we have only been observing space with modern tech for a few short decades, how then can we use that as a guide to explaning weather something can/does happen in a universe nearly 20 billion years old?

Thats like saying there hasn't ever been an extinction event on this planet, or an ice age, because one hasn't happened in our lifetime :)

[Metal mug]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7KE5iQFE0E


I must have been bushcrafting too long, every time I see this ad I think "Silly man he's forgoten to build space for all his rations." :D

[Fletching]

...Though if the flares keep getting stronger, and there are fears that they will, then there is a real danger of it knocking out the power grid. Possibly on a irreparable basis. T^

I'll need to pick up another skill in that case - distilling. :)

[luresalive]

4117

[Metal mug]

4117Well done whoever figured that out. :happy-clapping: So now that's out the way - When's the next apocalypse due? :o

[exaem]

4117


Well done whoever figured that out. :happy-clapping: So now that's out the way - When's the next apocalypse due? :o

As much as I think that 2012 is crap this is not even a good image.

The Mayans didn't even count leap days, they simply measured what time the sun would rise and the sun in degrees which basically incorporates it in. They also didn't use the Gregorian Calendar (the one we used) which used the leap year to account for the extra day we gain.

[luresalive]

As much as I think that 2012 is crap this is not even a good image.

The Mayans didn't even count leap days, they simply measured what time the sun would rise and the sun in degrees which basically incorporates it in. They also didn't use the Gregorian Calendar (the one we used) which used the leap year to account for the extra day we gain.

You've basically just said exactly what it said in the attatchment!

[exaem]

You've basically just said exactly what it said in the attatchment!

Nope, the attachment is factoring in leap days which the Mayans, although they did not use, they had a method which was pretty similar as they just counted the sunrises.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpYtLcRKuPk

[luresalive]

Nope, the attachment is factoring in leap days which the Mayans, although they did not use, they had a method which was pretty similar as they just counted the sunrises.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpYtLcRKuPk


Know any mayans that can confirm that?

[exaem]

Know any mayans that can confirm that?

No, sorry :'(

[luresalive]

No, sorry :'(

T^

[exaem]

T^

I love your blog by the way, I've just read every single post. Nice work on the hacksaw knives!

[luresalive]

I love your blog by the way, I've just read every single post. Nice work on the hacksaw knives!

Thanks very much for that, it's rare to get a compliment and they are like pearls when they appear!

[exaem]

Thanks very much for that, it's rare to get a compliment and they are like pearls when they appear!

Ah, no problem! The posts were very interesting, especially the posts about the wild fungi and hunting game!

[PIGEON]

Not so sure about apocalypse, but I can see the western world going through a depression. That's if the bogey man does not get us first...

[kesom]

the Mayans never said there calendar ends they called it a rebirth or it basically restarts like a clock going past 12 midnight ,it just basically marks us finishing our 26,500 year cycle around the center of the galaxy and the completion of the 12 signs of the zodiac(this is the dawning of the age of Aquarius!) were in Pisces now going into Aquarius and also an alignment between our planet and the center of the galaxy all on dec 21st 2012(winter solstice)
the mya were pretty good astronomers and used a hexadecimal counting system so they could easier calculate into the trillions !

no Armageddon,just a fresh start :)

[Kernowek Scouser]

Is it just me or are some people not happy unless they have something that almost certainly will not happen, to worry about?

And then when what they feared might happen doesn't, they look for someone (else) to blame for panicking in the first place.

"I wasn't expecting THAT!" allegedly the dying words of Nostradamus.

[chris g]

yeah most of the apocolyptic people just want to fear something for no apparent reason. Still I like the dalek idea mentioned earlier.

[Fletching]

Personally, I'm glad that I don't have children (lost 'em in a supermarket - still baffled about that) because we're doing a mighty fine job of F8*&^%ing everything up for 'em at this rate.

:)

[jus_young]

Personally, I'm glad that I don't have children (lost 'em in a supermarket - still baffled about that) because we're doing a mighty fine job of F8*&^%ing everything up for 'em at this rate.

:)

A comforting thought that one. Still, there are those out there attempting to make the change but, as always, money and greed seem to rule.

[kesom]

http://youtu.be/k9IfHDi-2EA

you have been warned ;)

[m0txr]

Classic gold, great track from Mr Cash. Thanks for that.